The tug-of-war often encountered between divorced parents over their children must immediately stop and parents must act like responsible adults and realise that the ones suffering are the children.

This was the message from Acting Judge NG Gusha who had stern words for the parents of two daughters, aged six and seven. 

IoL reports that the parents are fighting over the custody of the children.

The Free State High Court (Bloemfontein) heard that the children’s nanny had badmouthed the mother but when confronted about her claims that the mother left the children with her so that she could go and ‘drink at the bar her new lover owned’, she was tight-lipped.

The father turned to the court in light of the nanny’s claims, requesting an order for the children to stay with him. He also wanted an order that the police go to the home of his ex to fetch their belongings.

As this dispute concerned children and their welfare, the court ordered the Office of the Family Advocate to institute an investigation.

Having considered the reports of the family advocate, the judge said she was unable to find that one parent was better able to promote and ensure the physical, moral, emotional and spiritual welfare of the children than the other.

But the judge said what tipped the scale in the mother’s direction was that during the divorce, the family advocate recommended that the children stay with her.

She said that in the country’s new dispensation the sins and traumas of fathers and mothers should not be visited on their children.

She added that no constitutional injunction could, on its own, insulate children from harsh family and neighbourhood environments.

Full IoL report